LEASING VERSUS PURCHASING...

the math on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce:

Hello Darling, here’s a little something for you to think about. It’s an adaptation of an interesting email I received from the Second Best Dancer in Cape Town.

Aaaand…

GO!

After five years of marriage, Macca paid Heather $49 million as part of a divorce settlement. Assuming he got sex every night during their five year relationship (judges ruling? NOT fucking likely), each night would have cost him $26,849 – just to get his tip wet.

This is Heather – you can have her for $26 849 a night:



No thanks.

On the other hand (Darren), Elliot Spitzer's (ex New York Governor, who had to resign over this scandal) call girl, Ashley Dupre (professional name - Kristen), who, just by the way is an absolute belter, charges $4,000 an hour. This includes everything, although she probably wouldn’t come back if you shat on her chest.

Enjoy Ashley at an easy $4 000 per hour:



Very naughty.

I see she has collected a few tattoos since she first hit the press. You wouldn't need much more than an hour with this angel, but if you had to, you would be looking at just over six hours with Ash, for the same price as a night with Heather, whom I may add is almost half the woman Ash is (the leg thing darling - get with it).

I’ll get to the point. Had Macca "employed" Ashley for five years, he would've paid $7.3 million for an hour of sex every night for five years, a saving of $41.7 million. Remember that “sex” in this context is a serious understatement. Ashley is a pro, she has sex for a living – think about that. You would most certainly benefit from that. It would be like having Tiger Woods as your golf partner every time you played a round – you can’t lose.

Had Macca chosen to lease, rather than purchase, his perks would have include, but would not have been limited to: a 22-year-old nymphomaniac, no begging, no coaxing, no headaches, full bodied (ooh, bit harsh), no bitching, no visiting her folks, leaves once the jobs done and returns when needed - all at 1/7th of the cost, with no legal fees. But that's not all...

It’s pretty clear to see, especially during times like these, what with the increasing inflation and petrol price, our government, Kurt Darren and SABC - it’s all one big clusterfuck. Renting is obviously a safer option. Especially if one has a look at these naughty stats (of Ashley). It’s not a hard choice to make.

Unless you have already paid off your bond. If so, you should be enjoying some good return on your investment. Phrases like “going down”, “inflation”, “rising” and “compound interest” should have a totally different meaning to you.

It all goes to show, one should really try to get in there as early and as often as possible.

I’m off to try.